Runner's high?

I have to tell you, I'm feeling pretty good right now.

We just arrived back home today from our holiday with the family. We didn't go far, just a short 3 hour drive east to the greater Houston area. Today was my run day, but we didn't have time this morning with all the packing. We told my brother and sister-in-law that we would just run this afternoon. I was thinking, "Yeah, right... we'll run this afternoon... yeah, yeah... that's the ticket!" I thought it was possible. However, more probably, highly unlikely. I snacked on Cheez-its in the car. I drank a Coke. We rolled into town around 4:00. We unloaded the van. And I thought, "No way am I going running."

But my husband said, "Are you ready? How many miles are we doing?"

I sighed and said, "Okay. But we don't have dinner. And I have laundry to do. And what about the kids? And it's going to get dark soon. And we still have to go shopping."

And he said, "Are we going? It's your call."

I said, "Okay, fine. My training plan says my weekday runs should be 4 miles this week. But I think I can only do 3."

He said, "Okay, we'll see. Let's go."

We went. And how far did we go?

4 miles. With hills. Seriously, 4 miles. With hills. I am feeling like a rock star.

Here's the weird part, and I told him the same after we got back -- at no point during that run did I feel bad. Which is weird. Because typically, at some point in all of my runs, even the short ones, some part of me feels bad. My legs, my lungs, my feet, my brain. I'm either tired, achy, twingy (I'm pretty sure this isn't a word - what I mean is the word 'twinge' but in the form of an adjective. It sounds likes a real word when I say it.), breathless, or weak. Something. But this time was just different. And I have no idea why. Seven weeks ago when I ran this same neighborhood route, I just about died.

I tell you, some crazy stuff is happening.

I don't understand it, but I like it, and I hope it keeps happening.

Getting closer

Somehow, it has been two weeks since I last posted. The time has gone by so fast, it's unbelievable. I've had a lot of different experiences since returning from the mountains, and on the whole I would say the outcome has been positive. I'm still running, so I can't complain.

We got back from our Thanksgiving trip on Saturday, November 26. After my "Rocky" moment in the mountains, I really was excited about joining the running group the next day for our 5 mile run. Thankfully, we were meeting in the afternoon, which allowed me to sleep in after our long drive. I felt totally confident to tackle our hilly neighborhood course after my week at altitude! I would like to tell you that I was awesome and sprang up the hills like a gazelle, but you know that isn't true. The hills were still a challenge (of course), but I had a newfound confidence that helped me push through and keep a positive attitude. We ended up doing about 5.3 miles. Woo-hoo!

I was pretty excited after this run and feeling confident. Funnily enough, my following weekday runs were lackluster and my motivation flagged. Weather and who knows what else kept me from the next long run the following Sunday. I intended to make up the long run on Monday, but are you surprised that I didn't?

Which brings us to last week (Dec 5 - 11). My weekday runs were scheduled for Tuesday and Thursday. I tried not to dwell on the failure of missing the long weekend run. I was surprised by my lethargy and absolute lack of motivation on Tuesday. Since it was my run day, I forced myself to go to the track, but it had been a while since I had felt such a strong desire NOT to run and it was disconcerting.

I had the exact same experience on Thursday. No energy. No desire to do anything but sit on my rear end and maybe eat something yummy. But I made myself go anyway, knowing that I would not forgive myself if I didn't keep to the training plan.

The oddest thing about these runs was that on these days, these days of no motivation, I ended up running my fastest pace to-date. I still don't understand that. But it was what I needed to pull me out of my feeling of heaviness and motivate me for the weekend.

This Sunday, our running group met in the morning to do a 5 mile run. As I have mentioned previously, I usually end up lagging behind the group at some point during the run and never seem to catch back up. Miraculously, this week I totally hung with the group! Was I going faster or were they going slower? In the words of my high school English teacher, Mr. Carr, "I don't know and I don't care." No matter, though, it was a thrill, and I wasn't killing myself to keep up. It's the little things like this that provide me with that tiny boost which allows me to continue moving toward my goal.

10 more weeks of training til the big day!

Mountain running

I knew that keeping to the training schedule last week was going to be a real challenge. A 10+ hour car trip. Thanksgiving. Sleeping on an air mattress in a room with 2 kids & 4 dogs. Mountains. How would I adjust to running at an elevation of around 5,900 feet?

I was worried about all these things. We spent all day Saturday in the minivan trekking across west Texas. The plan was to run 4 miles on Sunday, in order to maintain the training schedule. However, Sunday came, and I was exhausted. After a morning outing into town, I completely fell apart and ended up falling into a monster nap on the couch for most of the afternoon. I was bummed that we missed our running window and was worried that I would not have the strength to run on Monday and my schedule would be shot.

Thankfully, my running buddy/trainer/husband was with me and spurred me into action on Monday morning. As we hiked down to the road to begin our run, I was both nervous and excited. In retrospect, I was also very naive. Our 4.5 mile route took us on a steady uphill climb into the canyon (about 630 feet in elevation gained) for 2.25 miles, at which point we turned around for a blessed (mostly) downhill run. I was naive in thinking I could run most of the uphill portion. I was quickly discouraged and straining for breath. Even the walk breaks were not breaks. It was exhausting, of course I cried, but in the end, we did it.

And just in time, too. As we were returning to the house (after the run, on achy, wobbly legs, a hike up a steep, rocky hill), the misty rainclouds we had observed gathering from a distance moved in upon us and let loose. We very narrowly missed being caught in the torrential, freezing downpour. Whew.

After the experience of Monday's run, I adjusted my expectations for our Wednesday run (3 miles). Honestly, most of the uphill part was walked, but even so, my pace was much better than it had been on Monday. I felt much more confident this time out, knowing that this would be invaluable training for the hills in the half marathon.

On Friday we got an early start so as to miss the threatening rain. We took my brother-in-law's word that we had a window of opportunity and we ran with it. It was pretty chilly, so we bundled up and headed out. The rain/sleet from the night before made the route a little muddy, but thankfully the storms held off until we finished our run (the first few drops falling as we made our way back to the house.) Another close call.

I have to say, this week was a huge confidence boost for me. Running in the mountains was a thrill. My trainer's praise, encouragement, relentless pushing and comic relief made all the difference. I could not have done it without him by my side.

The first race of my career

My husband asked me later why I cried.

I struggled to come up with just one reason.

It could have been the sheer relief of reaching the end of a hilly run on a warm and muggy Texas November morning.

It could have been the hormones.

It could have been the smiling faces and cheering voices of my family and friends as they greeted me at the finish line. Or the camaraderie of a new found friend and sister who could have finished much, much sooner if she had only left my side.


It could have been the waiting comfort and safety of my husband's arms, the way the world outside faded around us in a moment that was ours alone.

Followed by the sweet intrusion of the children, awakened early on a Sunday morning without complaint, whose unrestrained love fills my heart to bursting.

It could have been the fleeting sensation of accomplishment and control, a buoy in a sea of discouragement and helplessness. The tiny glimmer of hope that truly anything is possible.

It could have been the emotion evoked in consideration of the purpose of this race, of the lives lost, of the families touched, of the battles waged and being waged still. The stories swirling all around me in an ocean of pink, festive and sober, the faces of those running in celebration and of those running in memory.

It could have been my own thoughts of one woman, one person in the long line of persons without whom I do not exist, the grandmother it was not my privilege to know. Had this particular disease not taken her, how many more years might she have had? Enough to see her youngest son become a man? Enough to meet the vivacious girl who would become his wife? Enough to have regaled his children with her wit? Would she have looked into my face and seen herself reflected there? As I see myself reflected in hers?

As I ran my race, these thoughts ran with me. Wondering. Dreaming. Wishing.

So, why did I cry?

How could I not?

Ups and downs (and downs)

After two straight weeks of feeling pretty good about myself, I was bound to have a week like last week. I started it off pretty excited, pleased with my long run (4 miles) and my mastering (ha!) of the weekly 3 mile runs. I hit the gym on Tuesday for my 3 miles and I don't know what happened. It was just... blah. I did not enjoy myself. I did my miles, but it didn't feel good. I felt no mastery. And this bummed me out a little. Because most of all, I want to find the joy.

On Thursday, I got stuck at work late, missed my lunch and missed my regular run time. My husband was kind enough to ferry the children to their various after-school activities so I could get my run in. Truthfully, I was excited about it. Work had been stressful and I was eager to take my frustrations out on the pavement. However, the relief and exhilaration I was expecting did not come. My neighborhood route had some rolling hills that wore me out and on the way back I found myself running into a gusty wind. I was winded, overheated, and felt like I was barely moving. It was all I could do just to finish the stupid run. It blew.

This run really affected me. I had expected so much more.

On Saturday, my husband and I took the opportunity to run together at a park near our house. The boy was at practice and we brought the girl along with her bike. I did not want to run. Still feeling the disappointment from my weekday runs, I had no motivation. Out on the trail, things did not improve. Surely my attitude bears a great responsibility. It was just hard. I felt slow, breathless, confused about why the first mile is still so miserable. During that first mile, I fought back tears and an overwhelming desire to sit my butt down on the trail and give up. Give up the run, give up running. Give up the half marathon. My impossible and ridiculous goal.

I didn't sit.

I did cry.

Though stubbornly refusing to listen to my husband's advice about my breathing, I kept my feet moving. The welling despair was (somewhat) quelled. We finished the run. My attitude did not improve. We had a time constraint, so we didn't even get in all 3 miles. This, along with my performance, felt like failure.

Blurgh.

And... [deep breath in].... [deep breath out]....

Every week is a new beginning. Every day a fresh start. And there are goals that shouldn't be backed out of. No matter how ridiculous.

I ran on Monday. 3 miles. It was good. I found a some joy.

And... [deep breath in].... [deep breath out]....

This Sunday, I will be running my first 5K race.

It's good to have goals

I'm a little late with my training update for last week. Here's the brief recap:

• Sunday, 10/23 - missed the group run (and hats off to Hannah and Michelle for braving the muggy afternoon heat to get their 6 miles in! That's commitment.)
  
• Monday, 10/24 - 3 miles at the track, no walking
  
• Tuesday 10/25 - weight training (squats, lunges, calf raises, bicep curls, abs, shoulder press, chest press, tricep kickbacks, etc.)
  
• Wednesday, 10/26 - 3 miles at the track, 30 sec walk breaks after miles 1 & 2
• Thursday, 10/27 - Tacodeli (I know... not technically training)
  
• Friday, 10/28 - 3 miles at the trail, 1 walk break
• Sunday, 10/30 - 4 miles at the trail with the group (I only walked a couple of times - once on the crazy hill and once when I stopped to take off my long-sleeved shirt. Oh yeah, and once on the spiral ramp on the Pfluger bridge. So, 3 times.) I spent most of this group run trailing the rest of the group, but for a brief number of minutes, due to a navigation error on the front runners' part, I found myself in the lead! I know it was not a legitimate lead, and we are absolutely NOT competing with one another, but I couldn't help being pleased, thinking, "I'm winning! I'm winning!" And then they all passed me. Ah, well.
  

And now about the goals...

3 miles is my current theme. When I head to the gym (or trail) during the week, 3 miles is the goal. Secondary to the 3 mile goal is to do the 3 miles without any walk breaks. Sometimes I am successful, sometimes I am not.

Related to the subject of goals, my trainer has shared with me in the past that I should have three goals for the half marathon: 1) to finish, 2) to do my best, and 3) to finish well. And that I should be satisfied to meet the basic goal of finishing.

That being said, let me share with you my secondary goal beyond simply finishing -- what, for me, I would consider to be "finishing well." I think it's ambitious, and I am hesitant to share it out loud, but here it is:

I want to run the half marathon. That's it. I just think it would be super cool.

But on days like today, when running the 3 miles at the track was a torturous exercise in self-denial, and I did stop to walk, I think it is a crazy goal. Me? Run for 2½+ hours? Ha!

But then I remember (and my trainer faithfully reminds me) that 3 months ago I could not run even one mile, could not run for more than a mere 2 minutes at a time. And yet somehow here I am now, at a point where I can run for 35-40 minutes without stopping.

Which makes me realize .... anything is possible.

Going mental

Bad mental

I mentioned in last week's summary that we did 5 miles on our group run. What I didn't mention is how after the run, once I got into my car, I burst into tears and cried all the way home. I'm still not sure I understand all the reasons for this particular breakdown, but I suspect it was a combination of hormones, insecurity, general stress, exhaustion, and frustration at being pushed beyond my capacity. Instead of being encouraged by the accomplishment (5 miles!), I was overcome with a sense of defeat. Where there should have been elation, there was instead despair. The experience caused me a lot of soul searching, a long conversation with my trainer, and some bit of re-evaluation of my participation with the running group. I am currently endeavoring to find a way to make the group experience work for me, trying to find a balance between the positive and the negative.

Good mental

On Tuesday, I headed back to the gym for my regular weekday run. I planned to run 3 miles, but was not sure what my goals were beyond that. On most of my runs, I have been practicing running with walking intervals sprinkled in about every 6 minutes. On several other occasions I have challenged myself to run a full mile without taking any walk breaks. So on Tuesday, since I felt comfortable in my ability to run a mile, I thought it would be good to try to push for more. I decided on a goal of 2 miles, no walking.

I really believed this was reaching - 2 miles - but figured that I could just force myself to do it. Somewhere near the end of the second mile, the thought popped into my head, "That wasn't too bad. What about 3? I wonder if I could do 3?" Bolstered by the accomplishment of meeting my goal, I thought, "Why the heck not?"

And this is where I discovered the mental game of running. Because once I decided to try for 3, there really was no settling for less. It became a real test after the first couple of laps into that 3rd mile. I found that even though my legs were lacking in strength and any measurable feeling, and even though my lungs were being pushed beyond their comfortable capacity, it was possible to continue moving forward by the sheer force of my will alone. I found that being tired, being breathless, was not the same as being unable. I found that until my muscles physically failed and collapsed under me, being fatigued was not a valid reason to let them stop. I found that it was enough for my mind to say to my body, "Do not stop. Do. Not. Stop."

And my body obeyed.

This was a grand success for me and a welcome epiphany. And enough of a confidence boost that I went out on Thursday and did it again.

All in the family

Firstly, just a few things about last week's group run. The massive rainstorm (say what?!?) pushed our 7am run time to 3pm. It also forced us off the trail and into the neighborhoods, on a brutal, hill-intensive 4 mile course. I don't have to tell you I sucked wind. Thankfully, my trainer was with me and helped me get through. I love you, trainer. Oh, and we got lost -- not lost in the sense of not knowing where we were, but lost in the sense of "where the heck did our group go?" We found them, and our little detour allowed us to get away with only doing 3.6 miles. But, just so you know, in the summary below I'm calling it 4.

My highlights this week were getting to cheer on my sister-in-law as she ran the Capital to Coast Relay (the LONGEST running relay in the U.S.) and getting to hang out (and run) with my brother.

I don't fully understand the Capital to Coast relay, but the gist of it is that teams of 8-12 people run from Austin to Corpus Christi (223 miles), starting on Friday morning and finishing Saturday night (yes, they run through the night.) My rock star sister-in-law ran 4 legs of this race, a total of around 23 miles, with about an hour (or less) of sleep. This calls to mind the t-shirt we saw one of the runners wearing -- it said, "Running is a mental sport. We're all insane." Yep. That about sums it up.

But I gotta tell you, the insanity is contagious. We had a blast driving around from point to point and cheering her on. We are super proud of her.

After dropping my sister-in-law at an exchange point near Buda, my brother and I headed to Town Lake (or Lady Bird Lake, for you people who like to rename stuff) for a 3-mile run. It was noon already and a little warm and a lot sunny, but I did it and even sprinted the final tenth of last mile. I guess little sisters never quite outgrow the desire to impress their older brothers. We wrapped up the afternoon with some tasty tacos from Chipotle. And yes, I ate all 3.

Yeah, we're at a football game. We talked about running.

Summary of the week:

• Sunday, Oct. 9 -- 4 miles (see anecdote above) with the group (sort of)
  
• Tuesday, Oct. 11 -- 2.7 miles at the track
• Friday, Oct. 14 -- 3 miles at the lake with my brother
• Sunday, Oct. 16 -- 5 miles with the group

The upside of a stubborn streak

As I plodded from my office to the gym today, everything about me felt heavy. My spirit felt heavy. My heart felt heavy. Mostly, my body felt heavy. The weight of the insanely humid 95 degree day (am I the only one that sees the ridiculousness of 95 degrees in October?) was heavy upon me. It was difficult to even propel myself forward. I'm very serious. It was difficult to move. The very last thing I felt like doing was running. In fact, I felt utterly incapable of running.

I was on the phone with my trainer, pouring out my assorted maladies. My lethargy. My heel pain. My heaviness. My fear of injury. My two day eternity since my last run. As he spoke words of encouragement mingled with tough love (e.g. "now is the time you go against what you feel and do what you're supposed to do" and "remember to stretch your feet before and after"), I was thinking, "Ugh... he just doesn't understand what I'm feeling." Every fiber of my being rebelling against his words, silently refusing to be urged onward. But still I schlepped my body toward the gym. I'm stubborn that way.

I hate it when the trainer is right. Especially when the trainer is my husband. Yes, honey, it has been admitted in print - you were right. About the pushing through, about the stretching, about me being a runner.

I am a runner.

I am a runner.

I AM A RUNNER!

Summary of the week:

• Sunday 10/2 -- 3.29 miles with the running group. Wow. The weather was gorgeous and it wasn't even (excessively) hard.
• Monday 10/3 -- a little one on zero racquetball. [sigh] I really need to find a partner.
  
• Tuesday 10/4 -- 2.1 miles at the track. 5 minute run, 30 second walk for 30 minutes. Then I got my flu shot.
• Wednesday -- rest day. Pick a reason, any reason: son home sick, arm achy from flu shot, heel pain, general depression. Any excuse will do.
• Thursday 10/6 -- rest day. Totally legitimate reason: cowboy tacos with Suzanne. We talked about running...
  
• Friday 10/7 -- 2.4 miles at the track. 5 minute run, 1 minute walk for 30 minutes. The first mile was way under my typical 12 minute pace. Woo-hoo! The trainer calls this progress. I also stretched before my run, as instructed, and did not experience my usual stiffness and long warm-up period. The trainer calls this him being right.
  

Goal for this Sunday's group run: 4 miles.

Still running

You thought I quit, didn't you? No, I haven't thrown in the towel yet. At least not as far as my running goes. When it comes to life in general.... well, that's fodder for my other, non-running-themed blog.

But, running-wise, a lot has been happening these past few weeks and I'm a little overwhelmed trying to think of how to cover all the things I have been wanting to write about. So I'm not going to try. But since my last entry was a little iffy in regards to my experience with the running group, I will say two things about the group:

One -- the second week with the group was much better.
And two -- it is a learning experience. Not always comfortable, but worth the effort.

I have been running 3 to 4 times per week and my long run is the weekend run with the group. Last weekend we did 3 miles. Truth be told, I did closer to 2.8. But whatever - the group says 3 miles and I say, Yes we did! (This is one of the up-sides of the group.)

My diet has been very good lately and I am beginning to see a slight downward trend on the scale. Not that we're focusing on weight, of course. Weight, shmeight, I just want to be healthy! Now let me tell you about this bridge I'm selling....

Of course I care about the weight. I am woman. I am vain. It matters.

Speaking of vanity, there is another thing I'm really loving about this running business. It's my legs. You're not going to believe this... but it turns out my legs have muscles! No lie. I mostly notice them when I am in the motion of sitting down and my hand brushes against my thigh as I sit, and I wonder, What is this?! Could it be... a muscle? I caress it and softly whisper, Hello quadricep, it's been a long time... I've missed you... stay with me a while, won't you?

Okay, so I don't caress it. Or whisper. That would be weird. But I am seriously digging the muscles.

Lastly, there was one other highlight for me this past week. My running buddy Suzanne mercifully decided I needed a little help with my wardrobe. So, in an effort to make me more comfortable and, more importantly, cuter, she took me to Academy and showed me what the hip young runners are wearing on the trails these days. Goodbye sweat pants and heavy cotton t-shirts, hello Dri-FIT and actual sports bra. I am equipped. And very nearly color coordinated. Baby steps.

I will run tomorrow (Friday) and on Sunday the group will do 3 miles (and so will I!)

The running group

It was such a busy week last week, I don't know where to start. Major milestones included:

• I ran a mile for the first time (no walk breaks). It took me 12 minutes and it was hard. I wasn't planning on trying this, but my trainer thought it would be good to challenge myself. It was a challenge. But I did it.
• No Coca-Cola. And no nighttime snacking. And my afternoon snacks have been much healthier than a bowl full of Cheez-Its.
• I had my first run with my running group. Honestly, I'm not sure yet how I feel about this. I plan to stick with it, but I'm a little ambivalent. I actually did love getting up early, getting outside, being downtown, and doing something - that was very cool.
  

The blurry picture doesn't do justice to how beautiful it was as the sun rose on the city.
(Don't worry, it was an official walk break.)

Summary of the week:
Monday - Labor Day. I had the day off from work and the kids were off from school, so no gym for me.
Tuesday - Ran the track at the gym. Increased my intervals to 3 minutes running, 2 minutes walking, thereby increasing my total run time.
Wednesday - Played a little racquetball, and old favorite sport of mine. Still looking for a partner though.
Thursday - Challenge day. Ran 1 mile without stopping to walk. [whew] Then walked/ran for about 12 more minutes.
Friday - I was going to do an easy run day, but was late getting to the gym and just hit the racquetball around instead.
Saturday - Housecleaning. That was enough.
Sunday - Ran 2.1 miles with my running group, with walk breaks every 6 minutes (or, for me, more frequently.)

Initial thoughts on the running group:
I told you that I am feeling ambivalent about the running group, and here's why. To me, the running group felt less like a running group and more like me following the adept runners at a distance and slowing down the other adept runner who happened to get stuck with me when the other two took off together. I had envisioned the group run being closer to a literal 'group run.' Having never done this before, maybe my expectations were off? I do realize that everyone should not have to slow down for me or take more frequent walk breaks for me, which leaves me contemplating whether or not I should continue with the group.

Of the 4 of us who showed up on Sunday, 3 are experienced runners. There are at least 3 others who may join us in the future - 2 of these are also experienced runners. I really don't want to be pushed beyond my capacity, nor do I want an entire group to have to cater to me. What we did on Sunday was too much for my current level of experience. The trail run I had expected ended up including several trips up and down stairs and a fair amount of running on concrete.

I assure you I am not being a baby and I am not unaware of what I am capable of. I do know how to push myself. I also know my body and I know what my training has been so far and I know that I am not ready for the mileage and intervals this group is doing.

So I am a little unsure. I would hate to give it up altogether. It is highly unlikely that I would get up early to go running by myself, and even more unlikely that my trainer/husband would feel comfortable letting me go downtown to the trail alone in the dark. My thought is that I could continue to show up with these people, and then just do my own thing. If I lower my expectations for some kind of group bonding experience, that actually could work okay for me.

If you have any thoughts, I'd love to hear them. Clearly, I've never done this before.

Goals for this week:
Keep running. Increase my run time. Run another mile.

Positive report

Last week was a good week. Several key things happened, which I am very excited about.

• I am now officially registered for the 2012 Livestrong Austin Half Marathon.
• I went to the gym every day (every weekday, that is.)
  
• I may have stumbled upon a running group to train with.

Firstly, taking the step of actually signing up for the race was huge. It took my loose commitment to an ethereal dream and made it a tangible goal with no way out. I am committed. It was surreal, yet exciting. What name do I want on my bib? What size t-shirt for when I finish? When I finish. [goosebumps] Thanks to my big brother for the motivation to make this small, but crucial, step finally happen. I forgive you for pushing me down the stairs.

Secondly, I went to the gym every day last week. That is also huge. Huge. After several weeks of being unable to overcome my inertia and get myself to do anything (besides hysterically flapping my arms in a chicken suit with my Wii Fit Plus), being able to get to the gym every day was a big accomplishment. And even better, it wasn't a terrible struggle. I wanted to go. In fact, I even wanted to run. Me. Wanted. To run. Dare I even confess? -- I enjoyed the running. No lie.

Lastly, sharing my plans publicly via the blog and on Facebook has resulted in a possible running group for me - something I never expected and honestly, did not think that I wanted. My friend Hannah, a former non-runner/non-athlete, ran her first half marathon last February. She's doing it again, along with several other of our mutual friends and took it upon herself to cobble us together into a training group. The plan has not completely jelled yet, but I sincerely hope it does, because I believe it will benefit me in ways that I cannot yet foresee. That's what my trainer tells me anyway.

Goals for this week:

• Get to the gym every day
• Run more, walk less
• Stop drinking Coke
• Find the joy

Back on the track again

It's been exactly one month since my last training update. [sigh] One month lost. My trainer assures me there is still ample time to be prepared for the half-marathon. I am not so sure, but hey, he's the trainer and that's why I pay him the big bucks.

The last month of summer before the blessed onset of school was a real kick in the pants -- so many obstacles to maintaining a regular training schedule. I was doomed. You have no idea how awful it was and I don't feel like going into it. Seriously, it seemed as if everything was against me and I caved. Getting thoroughly flattened made me wonder if I have the wherewithal to pull this feat off. If I am so easily knocked out of my routine, how in the world will I make it through to race day and actually be ready to race? I have serious doubts.

But then there is this: I am stubborn. Man, am I stubborn! I get knocked down and can't seem to stop myself from getting back up again and having grand ideas and goals. It's funny; I've spent the last many years of my life defining myself as a pessimist. But now I begin to wonder, am I really just a closet optimist?

I think, perhaps, yes.

A few changes to the blog:

I plan to start doing my weekly updates on Mondays. I'll give you the recap of my previous week along with my goals for the current week.

Also, I have decided to stop titling my posts "Training - Week ___". So dull. I will attempt to make the titles more interesting, or, at the least, more descriptive.

So ...

Recap for last week (this is easy): Nada. Zilch. Zippo. I did nothing. (Unless you count playing around with our Wii Fit Plus, which is, the way I do it, sort of exercise.)

Goals for this week: Get off my butt and GO TO THE GYM. It's a loose goal, by design. Today was a success - I went to the gym! Started over with the old walk 4 minutes, run 2 minutes, for 5 cycles. I didn't collapse. It was good.

See ya next Monday...

Training - Week Six

I am nearly too embarrassed to post an update this week, especially after the bravado of my last post. The one where I openly mocked discouragement and misfortune and, yes, talked a little smack.

I hate to admit that, despite my grand intentions to be awesome, discouragement kicked my butt this week. Hard.

Which isn't to say that my swagger wasn't genuine. But life intervenes and I am nothing if not highly susceptible to the wild fluctuations of my own emotions.

I suppose it was apropos that I happened to attend a meeting at work this week that included a presentation on stress (I was there for the free breakfast tacos.) The chipper and Holly-from-The-Office-esque speaker provided us with a handout of common symptoms of stress - physical, emotional, behavioral, social, etc. I had to laugh at how very many symptoms I have. (Laughter is a great stress reliever, by the way.)

I do realize that at some point, and soon, I do need to move beyond just writing about training to ACTUALLY TRAINING.

That little countdown thingy at the top of the page is starting to stress me out.

Training - Week Five

Don't give up on me. I haven't given up yet. Even though the last time I ran was almost exactly 3 weeks ago. [sigh]

Oh well. Last week I told you about how I had missed exercising in Florida because of my ankle pain. And then how I missed exercising the next week because my husband was sick. Well, guess who caught that little bug next? Yep. Me. Laid up in bed Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Finally went back to work on Thursday, but did not make the gym. Please - I could barely walk to my car without getting winded.

Can you say discouraged?

The upside, though? I got another week to completely rest my ankle. That's a good thing. I will test it out gingerly this week and will let you know how it goes.

Did you hear that, discouragement & misfortune?? I'm still in training. That's right! In your face!! You can't take me down! I may never be able to run for more than 2 minutes at a time, but I don't care! I will see you at the track and I will stare you down and walk/run/walk my way all over you. So there.

Training - Week Four

It is only for consistency's sake that I am even posting this week.

It's been a little discouraging because I haven't been able to work out at all since we got back.

After our 11 1/2 hour drive home from the beach on Monday, I thought it wise to simply write off Tuesday as a rest day. Then my husband came down with a nasty cold that totally knocked him out all week, so I thought it wise to come home right after work each day to give him a break from the kids and ferry them around to their various activities. Also, my ankle is still giving me some strange pains, so I thought it wise to not subject it to the unnecessary stress that running would cause.

I am feeling so wise.

But totally bummed. Even though I know there is a ton of time before the race and I am not even in my official "training" period yet, I am worried about injuring myself and never learning how to actually run. I want to run! It seems a very elusive goal at the moment.

Oh, track, how I miss you!

But that's okay. I have a plan. My plan is to reevaluate my ankle next week and see how I feel. If I need to, I will just walk and then swim on my off days until I feel like I can handle the running. My biggest fear is that I will slip back into doing absolutely nothing, but thankfully I have encouraging and realistic support here at home, so I don't think I will throw in the towel just yet.

Wish me luck for next week, and if you have any running advice or encouraging words, please send them my way.

Training - Week Three

'nuff said.

Seriously, though, here's the deal. I did run on Monday. The old run/walk/run/walk. I did shorten my walk times to 3 minutes, but kept my run times at 2 minutes. I did pretty well. The trainer went with me to monitor my breathing and form. He said my breathing was "dainty." I said, "Thank you." He also said I did pretty well.

The training plan fell apart on Tuesday. I was supposed to do my swim in the lovely bay you see above. Not sure what happened, because I really did want to do it. I believe I was sleeping. The other wrench in the works is that my ankle started to hurt again after my Monday run (I twisted my foot pretty badly a couple of months ago and the pain flares up once in a while.) So, my trainer told me I should take a few days off. I love my trainer.

Don't think I'm not getting my exercise though. Because beach vacations with four kids in tow are not for rest. For fun, yes. For rest, no.

The gym will still be there when I get back on Tuesday.

Training - Week Two

First off, two things:

• I haven't quit yet. Yay!
• It's still cool to say, I'm in training.

I know, I know. Impressive for week two of some 30 odd weeks to go. It is a big deal though, because this week hasn't been easy. And if I make it through next week (beach vacation) without tossing all of my workouts out the window, I will consider myself good to go for the duration.

This week's summary will be short, as I have a lot of packing to do.

So, this week I followed the same run/walk plan as last week, alternating run days with swim days. Still easing into this whole running/actually-moving-my-body business. Everything went well, even though I missed my swim on Tuesday due to my having to work late. I was afraid missing a day would derail me, but it wasn't too hard to hit the gym again on Wednesday.

Two things I learned this week:

• Running (I use the term "running" loosely here. In fact, for these first couple of months, just assume when I say "running", that I really mean "mostly walking with a little running sprinkled in") with a friend is a different experience than running alone (more on this later).
• Running does wonders to ease menstrual cramps (TMI, seriously, but it is true).

Check back next Friday to find out how my vacation beach workouts turn out.

Training - Week One

A little over a week ago I decided that I would run the 2012 Austin Half Marathon.

This morning I woke up thinking, Um, am I crazy?

Having already committed publicly to do it, backing out is not an option.

Thankfully, I have plenty of time to prepare. And I have enlisted the guidance of my husband, the runner, who is helping me get started in a gradual, non-threatening, baby-steps kind of way. And thankfully, also, I have the encouraging support of my brother and sister-in-law who did not laugh at me when I told them. Thanks, guys.

Today concluded week one of my training program and here's what I did.

• Monday - Walk/run for 30 minutes (walk 4 minutes, run 2 minutes, repeat 5 times.)
  
• Tuesday - Swim for 30 minutes.
• Wednesday - Walk/run for 30 minutes
• Thursday - Swim for 30 minutes.
• Friday - Walk/run for 30 minutes.

All in all, it was a good week. A nice slow start for my slow body. The pattern of walking 4 and running 2 was surprisingly easy and it was a big confidence boost. I was extremely sore on Tuesday and Wednesday, but by today most of that stiffness is gone. I DID IT!!

Here are some of the main points of my long-term plan.

• I am going to take it slow.
• I am going to actively acknowledge that I am in my 40s and will endeavor not to act like I am 20.
• I will listen to my body and not hurt it.
• I will not freak out about slip-ups in my otherwise healthy diet.
• I will follow the sage advice of my trainer. (You have it now in writing, honey.)
• I will enjoy myself.

And finally, what I learned this week: It feels cool to say, I'm in training. Having a tangible goal is like a shot of adrenaline to my internal motivation.

I am officially in training.